.:it's been awhile:.

i hate that so many of my posts start with “it’s been awhile…”. i always have the intention of writing more frequent… i wish i could stay true to that intention.

life is amazing. all is well… everyone is healthy. as i don’t take any of that remotely lightly- i’d like to move on and talk about something else.

how or when do you know when it’s time to move on? when is it right to take a leap of faith and change something you think needs to be changed? or to start a new adventure? for me: i try to pray, ask friends… ask family… ask dave over and over and over again. but then something happens that may or may not be the Powers trying to tell me something and i over-analyze the hell out of it and come to 87 conclusions as to what it could mean. my dad used to always say “i’m sick & tired of being sick & tired”. perhaps that’s a good time to move on… but what if you’re not sick & tired you’re anxious for another adventure or perhaps AN adventure, period. let’s take going back to school for instance… when is that ever ‘perfect’ or ‘ideal’ or ‘affordable’? i know that it wasn’t perfect, ideal or affordable when I was 18 and graduating high school… and it’s certainly no more perfect, ideal or affordable now. but at one point do you just do it.

i’m still working on figuring that out. i’ll keep you posted. after awhile, of course.

xokb.

.:i think i might cry:.

i’m frustrated beyond words. i’m not sure what to do. i feel sick to my stomach… and i want to cry.

my car was broken into two weeks ago & my purse was stolen. it was my mistake leaving my {new} purse in my car- and i accept that. it was a rough first couple of days, however everything seemed to be working their way back to normal fairly seamlessly… until Chase decided that dave and i were the ones being fraudulent and they were going to ‘terminate their relationship’ with each of us. this has created a whole slough of problems that just keep getting worse. dave and i have both got completely different stories from everyone we talk to. we call the customer service line and we get forwarded to about one million different departments only to end up at the fraud dept where they obviously hate their jobs. they are rude, unhelpful, spiteful and hurtful. seriously- i’ve never experienced anything like this. i’m blown away at how they have treated both dave and i. appalled, actually. i don’t really want to go day-by-day to rehash all the gory details of the ups and downs, but please trust me that this has been the worst experience of my life. they have now caused me MUCH more heartache, disappointment & frustration than the gentleman who stole my purse in the first place.

what now? how do I resolve this? who do I complain to? is it even worth it? i’m at a total loss… and totally bummed.


kb

.:lift it up:.

i’ve struggled for much of my life figuring out what i believe and what i don’t. what religion (if any) i want to be associate with. the one thing that has always been a constant throughout my journey of belief-dom is the idea of ‘lifting it up’. the idea of lifting my worries, problems, cares and stresses up to a higher power (whomever or whatever that might be) has always made sense. the idea of a higher power is absolutely something i believe in with all my soul. understanding that we cannot go at life alone has allowed me to lift my stresses up as high as i can and know that someone will help me.

i’m working on lifting it up today. lifting it all up.

xokb

.:sorry:.

yipes it’s been too long since i’ve written. a lot has sure changed since i wrote last.

1. girls are older (well, so are dave and i- but bygones).
2. we moved! we moved into a beautiful house in algona. it’s on a street full of slow moving cars and children at play.
3. i started a new position at work! i am now in design. i work on a line called REPORT Signature. it’s super fancy.
4. WE’RE ENGAGED! hoooooray. dave popped the question on our last annual gamily vaca to priest lake, idaho. he popped the question on august 17th. we are starting to wedding plan and we’re hoping to throw the wedding on august 4th, 2012. that also happens to be dave’s late father’s birthday. it’s been a very special day… but now will hopefully be an extra special day.

really and truly all is going amazingly well. we’re still having fun decorating and changing this around at the new place. dave has quite a few projects started and in the works (dog house, doll house…). oh- that reminds me- olive is doing good too! she has just about mastered the art of taking a bath! i might even go out on a limb and say she enjoys it a bit.

well now that you’re all caught up- i’ll keep ya caught up.

live long and prosper.
k. stb. hope.

.:seriously happy june:.

i’m pretty sure there are great things out there for dave and i right now. dave’s employed… (and i’m employed- although that’s not NEW news, it’s a great blessing). our house is on the market (yes, again). but this time for real. we’ve been blessed to be able to look for a home that better suits all of our needs. a fresh start, hopefully more yard… perhaps more upgrades and projects as dave and i love to put our brand on where we live. we’re on cloud 98735407. (really, that IS a number of a cloud). we feel astonished.

stay tuned as there are guaranteed updates right around the corner.

our girls are doing wonderful. we’re doing wonderful. that’s about all i have to report right now.



the below picture is of what i found when i looked in my lunch bag yesterday. while dave's been unemployed he's been making my breakfast and lunch for me. he secretly asked the girls if they wanted to make anything to send in my lunch for the following day. below is what i received. precious love letters from my sweet little girls.

xokb <-- pretty much the happiest girl in the world.

.:two wonderful years:.

(this picture is from one of our very FIRST dates at the Ballard Locks.)

well, sunday is dave and my two year anniversary!

i took tomorrow off of work so that we could celebrate. we are going camping and i think we get to meet up with dave's cousins who live in richland! i'm *so* excited and i can't wait for this fabulous weekend to start!

i hope everyone has a great weekend.

kb :)

.:ah!:.

i love my life!


chloe snapped these pictures two weeks ago when dave and i were having a moment. i was tearing up because of how absolutely grateful i am for him and the girls. they're my magic.


happy holiday weekend. i love you all.

kb

.:time to blog:.

i’ve sat at work and typed out a few blogs over the past couple of weeks but they all end up being journal entries. maybe i’ll start another blog for that very reason.

well, let’s see. let’s start with the babies. lily’s baseball is plugging right along. her participation in this particular baseball league has been a transition for all of us. lil started the season off by crying, feeling left out and not wanting to participate. chloe and ella have had to push even their imaginations to the next level to find things to do while we sit at sister’s baseball for oh, maybe 5 hours. dave and i didn’t agree with lily’s participation from the beginning. it’s a select league that plays more hours in a week than hours of school. the battle of extracurricular activities is one that we lost in the divorce war. not that we don’t want the girls to participate- we just wanted the activities to be agreed upon by both parents and be age appropriate. fast forward to now- lily is enjoying baseball, chloe and ella collectively have about 98765435756487 imaginary friends and games that they play at baseball practices and games. and dave and i support lily in baseball.

chloe is trying out to participate in the elementary school’s talent show tonight. she is going to sing a song from annie. i’ll talk to dave about recording the show so everyone can see it. i think she’ll do absolutely great.

ella is rad. she’s learning and growing leaps and bounds. there has been a sudden push to have her get ready for kindergarten in the past couple months in her mother’s home, as she’ll need to be accepted as an early enrollment with a birthday in october. i’m glad that ella is getting the attention, guidance and lessons that she needs and deserves. i am sad that it’s taken this long for that house to realize that teaching, molding and helping is all a part of life. nevertheless, she’s proud of herself (which is wonderful to see) and we’re so proud of her as well.

dave is doing great. he has put his physical health and fitness to the top of his priority list and i am remarkably proud of him. he’s looking and feeling great. he’s doing projects around the house and outside. our yard has never looked so good! i hope to be pouring a cement slab in the next couple of months for a little patio type thing. i’m very excited about that! with dave’s help it should be amazing.

i started a second job at the beginning of april. it proved to be a bit much for me. i’ve done the hold-down-two-jobs-and-go-to-school-thing before… but this time with a man in my life and children at home- it’s been a bit different. plus my day job is a bit monotonous for me right now and so i’m needing to put in extra effort to make it through the days. i’ve spoken with my boss at the spa to see if i can cut down my hours. we’re still in the process of figuring it out. i’ll keep you posted.

i had a wonderful mother’s day celebrating with my mom and having special treats from my girls a couple days before. they hold such a wonderful place in my heart.

(oldie but goodie- can't wait for this time of year again)
i adore my life.

kb

Just wanted to share some pics from our latest hike....

Rattlesnake Ridge in North Bend is amazing. Just like Kristi.

Olive did really well, at just over 4 miles, we didn't have to carry her more that 10 minutes. With a nice picnic at the top, this turned out to be a perfect day.

Whose dog is that? Bad dog.... get out of my picture.

.:8:44:.

how blessed am i? i fell in love with an amazing man who has an amazing family AND along with that comes three magical red heads?! whoa. bisti = one lucky girl.

waking up to smell the roses. or lilies, or weeds, or whatever may be in your yard. i’m happy! i’m thrilled to be alive! i find myself looking around me and valuing the colors of my world. in my pictures, on my feet, on the walls at my home. or the colors that i can see streaming through my children’s imaginations. i long to hold them again… ella fell asleep in my arms last thursday and although we had visitors and although her mother was going to arrive shortly to pick her up, i just continued to rock her and hold her and let her drift off to dreamland… at 7 o’clock. i cherished that moment. i can still feel her heavy, sweaty head resting in my elbow… her heavy breathing making me tired.

i helped chloe and ella get ready one saturday morning not too long ago as we headed to lily’s baseball practice. i got them dressed very creatively so they could remain submerged in as much of the blankies as possible as it was early and they were chilly. chloe grabbed my shoulder to steady herself as her left foot slipped into her pants and said ‘i love it when you get me dressed. you always pick out such cute stuff and help me’. filled my heart cup so full- not that it was really in need of filling, but i’m so okay with it over-flowing.

we have the babies this weekend and next… we went two weekends without them earlier in the month, so we now have them two weekends in a row. lily’s birthday is on easter this year… how exciting. we picked out their dresses and i can’t wait to give them to the girls.

quick post on this tuesday morning. remembering my blessings.

xokb

Pippy Longstocking, Cindy Lou Who, and Ella Ruth

Lily singing for her school choir

Ella Ruth wearing her favorite dress.

The lovely Miss Chloe

Lily Jean out growing the tree

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Its not very often that Kristi and I get the chance to participate in preparing the girls for school. So when we got the chance to have them this last Thursday night, and the following day was dress up like your favorite book character/backwards day/crazy hair day. We got pretty excited. Kris is amazing, let me just start right there. She is so great with the girls, always doing hair and make-up and nails and making sure that the girls look and feel amazing. Chloe and Lily's' hair looked spectacular. That was all Kristi. Picking out the outfits, again all Kris. Getting the girls ready for school that morning really left an impression on me. It took me back to a time when I was young. What a long time ago that was. It really made me appreciate what Kristi and I are doing for the girls. My memories of growing up are priceless to me. I hope the memories that we are making with the girls last forever.

Oh yea, later that day Lily had a choir concert at school..... Kristi got off early and we both got to watch her sing. She had a number that involved an umbrella and choreography.... it was actually quite impressive. Go Thunderbirds Choir!!!

They always say go out strong with a quote, so here you go......

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.

-Buddha-

.:march 24th 1994:.

late summer 2009

it’s been almost 16 years since that date. i was sitting in my 3rd grade class with one of the worst substitute teacher’s EVER. over the intercom, mrs. ward from the office said ‘kristi, would you come down to the office please? i think you’re about to have a baby brother or sister’.

i was elated. not only was i about to be a big sister, but i never had to see that sub again. my aunt and cousins picked my older brother and i up and drove us to the hospital.

16 years ago. whoa. my amazing little brother eric came into the world that afternoon. i remember it like it were yesterday.

eric bowled in a state tournament this past weekend and placed 5th. i’m the proudest sister in the world. we wish we could have been there to cheer him on, but sounds like he kicked some serious tail.

eric also just got asked to his first tolo. whoop whoop! i can’t believe it… placing 5th in state tourney’s and getting asked to tolo... who is this kid?! oh yea, he’s my stunning little brother eric.

i love my little E. well, he’s taller than me, stronger than me and smarter than me. but he’s my little brother. and i’m one dang proud big sis.

i love you, E.

early summer 2008

ps. ma- E doesn’t read my blog, so could you give him a hint, please?

.:saturday evening post:.

imagine this: posting on the day of the events i'm about to share. bizarre.

what a wonderful saturday we've had so far and it's not even over yet. it started off with a delish breakfast. comprised of homemade heart-shaped biscuits, gravy, yogurt, eggs, fruit cocktail and some jelly for our biscuits. quickly after breakfast we switched gears to continue our ongoing game of family poker. dave is teaching us all how to play.

at the breakfast table dave asked the girls (for no known reason to me...) what they would change their middle name to if they could change it to anything. chloe was the first to respond with a quick 'schaeperkoetter'. melted my heart yet again. ella wished to change her's to 'cinderella'- now that just melted my heart in a whole separate way. dollface.

we decided to take olive to the dog park as today was probably the most beautiful day of the year thus far. i'm sure the temperature didn't top 60 degrees, but nonetheless beautiful. on our way to the park dave gave us all nicknames. i loved this idea as i've practically begged my brother my whole life for a nickname only to be quickly reminded that nicknames aren't just given or made up, they're earned.

our nicknames:

lily = rax
chloe = frenchie

ella = rizzo

kristi bisti = lover

dave = punko

lily's nickname comes from one of dave and his dad's favorite restaurants (he's talking about the salad bar as i type this blog... oh and the chocolate pudding.)

chloe's nickname (i imagine) comes from grease... perhaps dave was feeling like danny zuko more so today than he usually is.

ella's nickname: see chloe's nickname

my nickname i want to credit brother brent for, however chloe came up with it this time.

dave's nickname was straight from the creative melon of ella. we thought it fit wonderfully.

oh, we did nickname olive, but didn't stray very far from her current bank of nicknames. we picked: pit.

we had a delightfully fun time at the dog park, there were many friendly people and friendly pups too. one of pit's favorite friends she met at the park today was hank. ella called him 'hey'. he too was a yorkshire terrier, but with a shorter haircut and a funny quirk. he only ran & walked in a counter clockwise direction. it's true! and it was huh-larious. thanks for the laugh, hank.

now we're home and the girls played their little hearts out with the favorite neighbors. we slurped down some clam chowder that dave had a brewin' in the ol' crock pot and now the chicks are watching happy feet before we make some chocolate chip cookies.

who knows how the schaeperkoetter hopes will wrap up their saturday night... but one thing's for sure: i can't wait to find out what it is.

xoxo kb.

.:facelift:.

our blog is getting a facelift. bear with us as we try new things... i think we'll send out a sort of 're-grand opening' once it's finalized.

xoxo

.:february catch- up:.

so i’ve started blogs here and there over the last couple of months however i’ve yet to produce anything worth sharing.

i’m going to try and just get everyone up to speed. dave is still doing cable… wishing/hoping/praying for something else. i’m still at report footwear and with free shoes- a girl can’t complain. we continue to do major work around dave’s house. paint, rearrange, trash, move it all around again. then donate. we’re practically buds with the guy at the goodwill donation station.

the girls are growing like absolute weeds. lily is approaching TEN. yes, you read that right- ONE-ZERO. she hasn’t been in my life for as long as some of you reading so i can’t imagine how you all feel. time is flying. she’s doing her baseball thing, with tourney’s about to start up and early saturday morning practices. she’s been playing her recorder non-stop and nailin’ it. we love listening to her. (really makes me wish my elementary school had done something like that; instead i just had the piano teacher who made me cry so i never went back.) i recorded lily playing and now have it set as my ringtone on my cell phone. i have received so many compliments and high fives for that one- people love it. even grumpy people in grocery store lines.

chloe is the most animated 7 year old ever. her grades are terrific and her broadway attitude is out of this world. she sings and dances everywhere. such a light in our lives. everything is a production with her- and not in a pre-teen dramatic sense- very much like dress rehearsal, introductions, performances, and bows. every thursday when i get home from work they all have a number worked out for me. sweet, heart-melting lyrics to the tune of a popular song…. all about me. chloe nails the notes, and hits every count she’s supposed to.

ella is a fire ball; at 4. her energy and desire to learn continues to fill my heart with such excitement. her speech is terrific, her desire to learn and do addition and subtraction floors us all at the dinner table. “if i have one apple and dad gives me 1 more apple, how many apples do i have, ella?” she sits… she looks at her fingers and shouts for all to hear “TWO!”. she’s growing and learning and i’m so thankful to be along for the ride.

now, as far as olive is concerned. naughty, naughty, puppy. just kidding. she is growing up fast too… seven months already! she’s definitely my puppy, but also has such different and rad relationships with everyone.

we’re hosting a pampered chef party at our casa at the end of this month… i’m a bit nervous for it, but hope it will be fun. oh! we also joined the YMCA- the girls love to swim and dave and i are trying to take our health more seriously and make our health a priority. we love it so far!

i’m going to wrap up here. it’s chinese new year for my co-workers in china (who i primarily work with) so it’s absolutely dead in my department- hence the time to blog.

peace and love.
kb

is it O-Ten yet?

Sometimes its the whole picture that should be looked at.
I want to thank my family for being so great.

All sides included.

Schaeperkoetter's, Hope's, Rothlisbergers', Thomas', Smith's.

For those of you keeping score at home, this may be my third entry. Although my intentions are good, they don't always get executed very precisely. 2009 is finally behind us. lets all take a moment and think about that. i have been so focused on looking forward, that i don't want to look back. i find myself doing it so much lately that the days fly by without notice. i am guilty of ignoring the present. forgetting the past. chasing the future. is my biggest downfall looking ahead? i want to adjust all three. a wise man once said "resolutions are for squares." well if i had four sides. those would be mine. learn from mistakes. enjoy the present. plan the future.

thats enough of that.

does anyone hear the tree fall if there is no one in the forest?

chicken? egg?

yes-no-maybe

i hope for great things this year. i may not have all the answers.

i just hope to ask the right questions.

.:and it’s october first. happy fall.:.

a lot has been going on in dave and my life… hence the lack of blogging. i’ve been more preoccupied at work with the legal paperwork of dave’s divorce and finding a place for us to live. oh yeah, and work. i occasionally was able to find time at work to jot down a quick blog or two… but not so much lately.

change is on the horizon. i can feel it.

dave’s divorce is just about wrapped up. we are literally sitting on pins and needles. really! i put thumb tacks on my chair at work. okay- just kidding. but we are awaiting the news that the judge has signed the final papers that were agreed upon earlier this week. we sat through mediation last week- what an experience. and one that i intend to never participate in again. i would like to personally thank our great family friend Michele who was a saving grace at a time when we felt helpless. she helped to make an amazing amount happen. thanks also to my momma for hosting a dinner so we could all chat.

and… dave’s house is on the market! i’m sure this is the first many of you are hearing of this… well, ta-da! dave’s friend toril is the real estate agent we’re using. she came to the house this morning; took pictures, put a lock box on the door and will come by again to put a sign out front. and just like that our dream to get out of this house is real. i’m not sure i can quite explain how exciting this is for us… it’s fairly private and fairly obvious i think all at the same time.

i’ve got a spot of a sore throat that is going up the right side of my neck up into my ear. ouch. drinking tea, drafting a blog should make it feel better.

we have the girls tonight and this weekend. i feel like we haven’t seen them in a looooong time. i’ve loved the summer with them and everything we’ve done, but i’m also excited for what fall weather brings… candles, cuddling, holiday music and scents. *mmmm*especially the crafts that come along with fall weather too!

OH! MY! GOODNESS! how and why did it take me this long to bring up this news?! we got a dog! she’s a sweet yorkshire terrier. we picked her up when she was 9 weeks old. her birthday is the day before the 4th of July… and her name is Olive. she’s our little olive pit. i had hopes of picking out a boy so dave wouldn’t be so outnumbered, but no such luck. she’s the one I fell in love with. i rescued her from an organization called under-dawgz rescue… it is amazing what these people do. dave came up with her name… for a couple of reasons. 1. i love a good dirty martini 2. ella adores olives 3. dave’s dad’s name was Clive and his signature often looked like “Olive!” i think kelli, his sister, has a note or paper with his signature on it and i’m anxious to see it sometime. so, that’s how little miss olive came to be called olive. makes me teary-eyed thinking about it.

i’m starting to feel a bit crafty again… i’m continuing to alter my clothes to funk-a-fy them, and pick up darling things at the thrift store for the girls to add a bit of a flare to their wardrobe. ella now has an adorable pink, off-the-shoulder Flashdance-esque sweatshirt. totally dance-able. my aunt let me borrow a craft magazine from last summer that has these cute fleurettes that you can appliqué right onto throw pillows- or really whatever you want! i’m excited to give some of those things a go.

i think this is about it. for now at least.

actually- our great friend’s justin and sara are getting married! we received their wedding invitation and feel so blessed to be a part of this wonderful day for them. our lives are fortunately and unfortunately parallel in many ways… they know what i mean.

i have a great support at work- her name is jenny. i was feeling extra scattered earlier this week and she sent me the below… i wanted to share it here because it’s something i now read everyday.

“Dear God- may the burdens on this woman’s heart be lifted to your care. I sincerely pray that she is reminded that you never intended for her to carry these burdens alone, but to share them with you.
As she walks through today with a scattered feeling in her head, I ask that you make a clear path for her. I pray that her eyes are open to your Light and as her mind calms, her ears are clear to your Word and as she feels the burden lift there is a lightness to her body that helps her move through this day. Not just to get through it, but to be present in it, released from doubts, insecurities, pride or any other workings of evil. She has endured so much in the past few months and has been under attack. May she be filled with Faith, Hope and Love and be reminded that these are gifts that come from you, God- even when we experience them through the actions of other people, they are still from You. Lord, I ask that you bless my sister, Kristine.
In the loving name of Christ, my savior, Amen.”

now, yes, i think that’s it for now.

xo

.:busy summer:.

so, we've been a bit busy lately. we apologize for not blogging- we're taking a short nap.

.:sad attempt:.

i tried to write a blog, however it was turning out to be far too much of a diary entry, so here i am wishing everyone well… wishing happy early birthday’s to dave’s sister kelli and my momma!

we have the girls this weekend, so i’m sure i’ll have much more to blog about.

until then, cheerio.

.:diary of sorts:.

so i’ve tried to keep the blogs i write away from a sort of diary entry… and more so like an update or a newsflash, however today i’m feeling the need to just talk it out. bear with me as my diary entries tend to be scattered and often broken as my mind jumps from here to way over there.

we had a meeting this morning at work with our 401k account representative on the overall status of the markets and our money. i find myself terribly overwhelmed with the task of keeping myself and now dave and the girls financially afloat on a day to day basis without having to think about saving for my retirement years now.

this meeting was coupled with a time in my life where i am feeling like life flies by in the blink of an eye… maybe some of you reading are thinking to yourselves “ha! she’s only 24!”- well i’m feeling it, folks.

too much time goes by between visits with loved ones far and near… but there just isn’t enough time or gas money in one day. there also isn’t enough time to have sufficient quiet, down, and alone time while wanting to complete all the other visits, adventures and tasks necessary and desired in life.

how do i find this balance? listen to my core? take alone time when i need it and visit family when available?

let me pause for just a minute… i am absolutely NOT complaining about my life. i am absolutely ecstatic to be alive and to be where i am. i believe i am just learning about how to have a real relationship with a real man, how to be a caregiver/nurturer/confidant/role model/provider (amongst other things) to my precious princesses, how to own and care for a home while still doing my best to meet the needs and desires of both schaeperkoetter and hope families.

sometimes it really doesn’t feel like there is enough time for everything… and so much which we want to complete. schooling, career growth, financial security, vacations, a new home, a bigger car… aye ye ye!

this really was intended to be a positive post! i am happy! i want to do so many things for my family and your family- i’m just finding the time for it all.


…maybe i’ll stick to updates and newsflashes.